King Frederick II: Beer
It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects, and the amount of money that goes out of the country as a consequence. Everybody is using coffee; this must be prevented. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were both his ancestors and officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.
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Anonymous: Beer
People who drink light “beer” don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
(Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI)
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Anonymous: Beer
Some see the glass as half full, others see the glass as half empty. I just wonder who the hell has been drinking my beer!
(As seen on a T-Shirt in Portland, Oregon)
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Dave Barry: Beer
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
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Winston Churchill: Beer
Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome.
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Cliff Claven: Beer
Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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Lewis Henry: Beer
Here's to a long life and a merry one; A quick death and an easy one; A pretty girl and a true one; A cold beer, and another one
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Frank Zappa: Beer
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
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