Quotes from Mark Twain
Author and humorist (1835-1910)
Mark Twain: Humor
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
(Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar, Following the Equator, 1897)
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Mark Twain: Humor
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Mark Twain: Humor
If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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Mark Twain: Humor
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress....But then I repeat myself.
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Mark Twain: Observations
In this age of inventive wonders all men have come to believe that in some genius' brain sleeps the solution of the grand problem of aerial navigation—and along with that belief is the hope that that genius will reveal his miracle before they die, and likewise a dread that he will poke off somewhere and die himself before he finds out that he has such a wonder lying dormant in his brain. We all know the air can be navigated—therefore, hurry up your sails and bladders—satisfy us—let us have peace.
(In a letter to the San Francisco Alta California newspaper, 1 August 1869)
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